Many people struggle with emotions that they don’t quite understand, and that may be difficult for them to face. When someone comes to us with long-term intimacy issues, which may include them driving away their partners, being unable to talk openly about their feelings, or reacting to a fear of closeness by detaching from those nearest to you, we will work with you to uncover the causes of these intimacy problems, and try to resolve them by bringing you to an understanding of how your past trauma has shaped your present emotional problems.
Fear of Closeness and Attachment Theory
The fear of being intimate or vulnerable with someone else may relate to the psychological theory of attachment, the idea that a child needs to be close to their parent, and to feel comfort and protection when they are stressed or afraid. The response that the parent has toward these childish demands can have major implications for that child as they become an adult, and the personality that develops may be built upon the parent’s actions. For example, parents who are dismissive or neglectful towards the child when they are distressed or afraid can trigger long-term intimacy issues.
Parental Fragility and the Child
A common cause of intimacy trauma in a child relates to the problems of the parent themselves. They may be intolerant of distress or fear, and as the child worships the parent at this stage they may respond to this intolerance and neglect by repeating the pattern. The parent may also be weak themselves, or emotionally fragile, which means that the child is constantly afraid to be intimate with the parent, as they have a powerful emotional reaction. A helicopter parent, for example may over exaggerate the child’s vulnerability, making them more repressed and avoidant of intimacy in the future.
Resolving Your Problems with Intimacy
The professionals with Trauma and Beyond understand that your childhood has carved out the way that you react to the people around you. They also understand that it is not easy to talk about resolving intimacy issues, and much harder to do so in the real world. This is why they believe that it is important to foster a strong relationship with your therapist, and that it is never too late to start working on your problems. To start the process call (818) 351-3511 to talk to a member of their team.